I've had a recent change of heart about the whole 2012 thing. It occurred to me as I was playing Uncharted 2 (still) that apparently ancient civilizations were a lot more clever than I previously gave them credit for. According to this game (and Tomb Raider) as well as several Indiana Jones movies (and the many from the 50's it ripped off), they not only had the engineering know-how to make elaborate, sometimes gigantic, systems of bootytraps that only allowed penitent men to pass, but did so with such craftsmanship that they remain functional thousands of years later. I mean, my video iPod's only three years old and the battery can't keep enough of a charge to make it through the last Pearl Jam album. Meanwhile, deep in the Amazonian jungle there's an intricate system of wooden cogs and vine pulleys that have been entombing archeologist, grave robbers, and dual-wielding hotties in short-shorts for several millennia. You think the Aztecs felt pressured to buy extended warrenties? Hell, no. The only people that had to deal with a red ring of death was the ceremonial virgin getting chucked into the volcano.
That reminds me, it's time for my monthy sacrifice to Chicomecoatl. It really should be weekly, but finding a sacrifical virgin in Chapel Hill isn't the easiest thing to do.