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Monday
Aug182014

Chartin' Off - Guardians of the Galaxy

The thought process that goes into making the pointless decisions for a pointless list (albeit one on a pretty nifty website).

Guardians of the Galaxy vs...

Mannequin


This is how we're starting things, Flickchart? An 80's movie so bad they haven't bothered trying to remake it, yet. Wait, they are? Crap. Decision: GotG

 

Shoalin Soccer

That's more like it. This is a tougher choice than when it went up against Transformers. Part of me wants to give the nod to Shaolin, and maybe if I'd seen it more recently I would, but I've never seen that Star Wars inspired Guardins poster until now and it is totally rad. Decision: GotG

 

Home Alone

Both movies feature trees, but there's only one where said tree is voiced by Vin Diesel.  Decision: GotG

 

Apocalypse Now

Charlie don't surf, but neither does this guy...

Decision: GotG

 

Office Space

Jesus, is there a rule in Hollywood now that says every character gets their own poster. I mean, Djimon Hounsu is a great actor, but he was in the movie for about five minutes, tops, and most of that was shown in the trailer. I'm guessing Toys R' Us won't have trouble keeping Korath figures in stock. In fact, I'm guessing come December 24th the Guardains section of Toys R' Us will be nothing but Korath and John C. Reilly's character. Actually, a John C. Reilly figure would be kinda funny. Take a sharpie and draw little glasses on him. Corpsman Brule.

Sorry, got lost in my thoughts for a minute there. Decision: Office Space

 

Fargo

I am Groot.

What... are you nuts? We had pancakes for breakfast. Gotta go to a place I can get a shot and a beer. Steak, maybe, not more fuckin' pancakes. Come on!

I am Groot.

Oh, come on, man! Okay, here's an idea: we can stop outside of Brainerd. I know a place there we can get laid. Whaddya think?

I am Groot.

Yeah, yeah, Jesus. I'm sayin' we can. Stop, get pancakes and then we'll get laid, alright?

Decision: Fargo

 

Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Am I hallucinating here? Just what in the hell do you think you're doing?

I am Groot.

(Ok, I'm done with that bit). Decision: GotG

 

The Goonies

Tough one. Groot vs Sloth. "Booby traps" vs "Oh, yeah." My childhood nostalgia's gonna win this one. Decision: The Goonies

 

Iron Man

I was hoping I could avoid a head to head with another MCU flick. But it's the one that started it all, so it's a pretty easy pick. Decision: Iron Man

 

The Girl with the Dragon Tatto

I really want you to have that laptop, Groot.

I'm deeply sorry for the image that's now in your head. Decision GotG

 

Results:

 

My Flickchart

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